Knocking People over at the Store

How many people can I knock over in the grocery store? I know I wasn’t in a bowling alley, but I tend to push my cart as though I have access to all aisles or lanes, like a bowling ball set loose in an alley.
I rushed past folks who were shopping, who glared and jumped , who also shook their head and mumbled as I wheeled by.
Before long, my cart overflowed with melon and dark-spot aging cream, with cheese and tea.
Yes, I picked up the cream for my hands. I did have a birthday last week and now two of those darn spots suddenly have gotten darker, like over night, on my right hand.
Rushing from the checkout, I carried on a conversation with the sacker-boy who on planned on becoming a Marine after high school. He walked with me while I pushed my cart. And I assured him I was able to push it myself, even if I had age spots popping up faster than melon growing in a garden.
Someone yelled to my right, a man who had four zillion old spots on his face, and I had just hit his belly with my cart.
He was helping his wife from the wheelchair rider-cart as I slammed into him and she balanced on her cane like a pro.
I then swerved into the Marine boy and hit him on the rebound, he toppled to his left, and knocked another sacker over a counter. Apologizing to the four of them, I promptly ran into a kiosk of boxed items that crumpled to the tile, a pile of crackers landing in front of us.
The two employees shook their heads and the wobbly lady laughed and the feeble man held her up. I apologized, “I’m sorry, I am. I didn’t mean to cause such a mess. Are you both, ok?”
The man and woman promised me they were fine, and they limped from the store without my running over them, again.
As for my Marine friend, he said, “I think you should let me push your cart.”
Again I assured him, “No. I’m perfectly capable of steering if everyone would just give me my own bowling lane.”
He squinted. “You know we’re not at a bowling alley, right?”
I laughed and answered like a crazy lady to validate my chaos. “No. I didn’t know that. I took out four bowling pins, didn’t I?”
Goodness, maybe I should use the diminishing age spot cream all over my body and simply vanish. This way, when I go to the store no one will know it.
Lesson from this blog: If you see my car in the parking lot at a store, leave at once. Come back later. You just might save a life. Yours.

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